There have been times when I felt like there was
something wrong with me. As if I didn’t think as normal as others did or
moved in a way that others expected me to and even though I tried hard at
times I always felt like I didn’t quite fit in I would shrink myself, only to
silence the gifts that have been embedded in me. It hasn’t only left me tired
but exhausted, never fully allowing peace to come through.
They say that everything changes when you lose someone who is so dear to
your heart, they say it changes how you think, how you feel, how you move I
can attest to that all of it is true, losing my daughter Desiree reshaped my
whole world. Grief not only strips you down to your core it brings you to a
place where you realize what truly matters. The things that I thought that
mattered or that the world told me were important no longer held the same
weight. In the silence of pain, you began to hear something deeper it’s the
presence of God reminding me reminding you that even in the brokenness
of it all you are seen.
There are days I can barely breathe, the days when nothing makes sense,
but in those moments I hold on to the truth that even in grief there is
compassion. I have come to a place where I now understand I was never
meant to follow the patterns of this world. My pain has purpose and my
journey has meaning beyond what I can see.
Since the beginning of time the world has taught us to fit in, to chase the
approval of humans, status and validation. This new season of my life is
teaching me something different. Walking with purpose, even if that
purpose looks different from everyone else, that is what we were created
for. One thing is for sure everything under the sun is temporary.
Desiree had such a big heart. Whether it was people or even stray dogs at
the park, she cared deeply. Her life will always remind me that what truly
matters isn’t fitting in but living with compassion and intention.
Being set apart isn’t a flaw, it’s a calling. It means choosing faith over fear.
It means choosing purpose and trusting that even through great loss, God is
still writing a story.
I wasn’t made to fit in with the world I was made to grow through what I’ve
been through, to love deeper because of what I’ve lost, and to live a life that
reflects something greater than myself.
And in that, I find peace.
Written by Claudia
